BE BULLIED NO MORE
Supporting Victims of Workplace Bullying
How To Deal With A Bully
In previous pages, we have looked at bullying, the physical symptoms it can give us and how a bully may operate and work. This page is aimed at giving some advice on how to make working with a bully less stressful.
Trying to understand why your bully does what they do is something that you may try to do but you are unlikely to ever succeed because if you ever seem to understand, the bully will change their tactics.
Always remember this. A bully targets you because you are more attractive, more stylish, will be an above average performer, are more competent and able to do your job and that the bully feels threatened because they know you can or would like to do their job.
Secondly, remember a bully is usually not just out to confuse, they will be dishonest, insecure, unable to trust anybody, will not like being asked to explain any aspect of their work and when they do will never give an honest or straight answer.
The following is a list of suggestions that will help you in dealing with workplace bullying. Once you have read through these it is advised you carry out as many of these steps as possible, as soon as possible.
Talk with your colleagues and co-workers if you feel you can
they may be experiencing exactly the same as you are
a bully though will try all they can to cause friction (confusion) between workers, this will ensure you have no trust in anyone either and are unlikely to report your bully as a group
If you can't talk with anyone at your workplace, it is important you talk with someone,
is there an external union rep or an association you can arrange an appointment with
maybe a friend, a partner, a religious leader, a counsellor or support organisation
it is not failure to ask for help
Enrol on a Confidence Building or Assertiveness Course
Buy yourself a ring-binder and a lockable page-a-day diary
In the ring binder keep your contract, your job description and all company policies and refer to them every time you need to.
Keep all your appraisals, any other written communication, even the most simple of messages
In the diary note down every time you feel bullying has occurred, where it happened, the time it happened and note anyone around you who may have witnessed this. If you are able, get them to write down in your diary, their version of what happened.
You will need all of this in the event of any grievance procedure you bring and the more evidence and information you have, the easier it will become to have the confidence to take action against your bully
When possible, never be alone with a Bully
Never discuss with them, anything not directly related to the work you are doing - a bully may use this volunteered information against you
Appraise Yourself, if your bully knows what you are capable of, then think positive and think about what you can do to progress your career. You may feel you don't want to change positions or may not be able to find another job, but you can. We all need to review our lives from time to time. See this as an opportunity to do this.
Don't go it alone - Get Help
This is not where the advice ends, this is where the opportunities to change your life begins
Don't hold back, don't hope that one day it will get better - BE BULLIED NO MORE.
Get some help now, professional help from people who have experienced this and will support
you and guide you in rebuilding your confidence, your career, your life.
Click on the headings below to take you to further information on workplace bullying